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News from the Principal
March 2010
Keys to Responsibility
It is so hard to believe that we have just completed our final set of Parent/Teacher Conferences. Many times throughout conferencing, we – both parents and teachers – talk about helping our kids become more “responsible.”
I recently went back to one of my books I have at home - “Raising a Responsible Child.” The authors Don Dinkmeyer, Ph.D., and Gary D. McKay, Ph.D. points out four keys to instilling the value of responsibility in children. As I share them with you, ask yourself… “How successful am I on these keys?”
Key #1: Let your child do it. Too many of us do tasks for our children instead of letting them do it. Why? Some parents think that their children are incapable of accomplishing the task (which is true if they’re never given the opportunity to learn). Also, so often, many of us think… “It is faster if we do it ourselves.” Yes – in many, if not most, cases – you are probably right – but if we do the task and never let them try it, we are then denying our children the opportunity to learn and master skills.
Key #2: Expect it to take time. The best time to teach children responsibility is when you’re not in a hurry, when you both do not have pressures to be elsewhere or doing other things. Children (just like we do) so often will become discouraged, self-conscious, and uncooperative when they sense they are being rushed or if they’re not living up to a parent’s unrealistic expectation.
Key #3: Ask, don’t demand. Instill responsibility by invitation. Begin by asking your child to help you with something. Do it together. Gradually teach your child so that you child can do it by him or herself.
Key #4: Use consequences. When your child does not follow through with something that he or she is solely responsible for – stop talking and nagging - let natural and logical consequences occur.
As you know, we need to give realistic responsibilities to your child. Take time to teach them and don’t nag or rescue them when they “forget.” Some other ways to help your child become more responsible: (1) Break new tasks into smaller steps and teach them one by one until your child can take responsibility for the entire task alone; (2) Encourage your children to use lists for keeping track of responsibilities; (3) Recognize your child’s responsible behavior. Say something when it’s small. Celebrate when it’s big!
Responsibility is such an important life long asset! We are here to help you - help your children! Don’t ever hesitate to ask!
Yours in Christ
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